These are a few of my favorite things...
...the smell of a clean (and lotioned) baby right after a bath.
...my baby girl SO content and relaxed her her Daddy's arms...so much so that her arm is completely flopped back. :)
...tiny feet and tiny toes. Perfect and sweet in every way possible.We are getting closer and closer to Evelyn's arrival and in some ways it still doesn't seem real that she'll be here soon.
Maybe it hasn't hit me yet because when you wait 9 months for something to happen, by the time it finally arrives it kind of takes you by surprise. I know our life is about to change forever, by welcoming another member into our family.
I've been thinking about the dynamic of our family and how it has been around here for the past 4 and 1/2 years with just Kane, Mara Kate and I and how in just a few short weeks it'll be changing forever and will never go back to the way it was.
I'm very excited, a little anxious/nervous and also a little concerned about the adjustment it will be for us all. I am ready to see how Mara Kate does with another child in the house. A sibling. I know the concept is completely foreign to her and that she is old enough to really remember this change as it happens. We have had babies come visit. She loves it when her younger cousins come visit for a few days, but then they always go home and it always has gone back to being just the three of us. I wonder how long it will take for her to really "get" the fact that this baby is just as much a part of our family as she is and isn't leaving. Maybe it won't be hard at all and I hope the adjustment is easy and wonderful---but still--I wonder how she'll take it all in. I want to help her adjust, but at the same time, I know some of it will just happen--by just living life.
I'm starting to remember the sleepless nights and all the little needs that come with having a new baby in your home. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself to go back to those days of having a newborn after so long of not having to think about it. I haven't had to worry about naps, nursing, diapers, etc. for quite awhile. We pretty much have a routine down with Mara Kate. And the routine we have is very easy & mostly predictable. We know at bedtime that she will go to bed easily and sleep for close to 11 hours (unless she is sick or something unusual is going on). We have gotten into a groove and I know we are getting ready to be bumped out of it and I'm trying to brace myself for the ride that's coming!
I have thought since Mara Kate has been able to communicate how nice it is when something is wrong, she can just tell us what it is...where she hurts, etc. With a baby it's always a guessing game---why are they crying, what is wrong? This is something I'm also trying to prepare myself for.
I have had several people tell me that having #2 isn't as overwhelming emotionally because (even though it's been a while) I have done this all before! I'm hoping that is all comes back to me, like riding a bike, but I guess there is a little part of me that knows that right now I'm in the calm before the storm. :)
I really am looking forward to meeting this baby and can't wait to just see what she looks like. When I picture her, all I can see is Mara Kate's newborn face. I don't have any other point of reference and it'll be so interesting to see if there are similarities or not in my girls. When I think about labor and delivery all I can think about is how it was with Mara Kate. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that I'll have different memories surrounding Evelyn's arrival and will need to try to keep them straight in my mind (and write them in the baby book so I don't forget).
I've also had people tell me that before #2 arrives it's sometimes hard to imagine loving another child the way you love the one you already have, but that your heart grows instantaneously once the second one arrives. I'm so looking forward to falling in love with Evelyn in that way once she is in our arms.
I am officially considered "full-term" now that I've reached 37 weeks. It feels good to get to the point of knowing that if she came today, although she'd still be early, she wouldn't be considered a premature. That's a comforting place to be.
I have an ultra-sound scheduled for tomorrow so they can confirm if she is head-down the way she is supposed to be. It'll be good to have that knowledge as we continue to wait and prepare for her arrival.
...that I've been anticipating for almost 5 years. And wondered many times if it would ever get here. Kane's PhD defense is on Thursday. It's just 2 days away! How many times have I thought about his defense and when it would be here?! Countless times.
Looking back...
I remember moving boxes and furniture into our first apartment in Atlanta 2 weeks before our wedding. Kane, his dad, my dad and I came down to "move us in". We worked so hard that day! We put together our bed, my dad scrubbed our bathroom while I worked like a mad woman to unpack our kitchen and Kane and his dad did the unloading. That's about all the "settling in" we did before the wedding. We needed to get the apartment livable enough for us to spend one night there on our honeymoon before we flew out of Atlanta to a resort in Mexico.
After move in day we both went home and 2 weeks later we got married in Virginia and then finished settling into our apartment in Atlanta once we got home from our honeymoon. I remember that time with wonderful memories but also some very hard ones too. I remember feeling very isolated from "my life" as I knew it because when I got married and left for my honeymoon, I didn't come back. I remember leaving our wedding reception with bittersweet feelings because I knew when I left the reception, I was also leaving the life I had known to begin a completely new one. Not just with a new husband, but in a new city, with new people, new church, new EVERYTHING!
We returned from our honeymoon to Atlanta where I knew no one and didn't even know where to get my groceries (or really how to cook, ha!). I remember feeling like my life was in Virginia, I just wasn't there to live it anymore! I felt like our honeymoon never "ended" in a sense because we came "home" to no one! It was good and bad. Weird and surreal at times. It took a lot of adjustment (that I admit partly came through many, many tears).
Anyway, the reason for our move to Atlanta in the first place was for Kane to start graduate school. The concept was so fresh and new. The campus seemed big and interesting, nestled into the heart of downtown Atlanta. We were excited about doing all the "Atlanta things" and making this our home. Kane was excited to start the next chapter of his life, to take the next step towards a career. It has been a very special time because it's where our life together really began and so far it's all we've known as a married couple. We were anxious to get involved in a good church and meet friends and make this our home. But, in spite of that excitement I struggled at first because we came here knowing that it was just for a season that would eventually end and we would most likely move away at the end of that season.
At the beginning when I was overwhelmed with all the changes of marriage and our move I wanted the end to be here quickly. But, a lot has happened over the past 5 years and although I am definitely ready for this season to be over (as far as graduate student living is concerned), there are also things that will be difficult to leave. Anytime you invest in something for an extended period of time, there are things that make it hard and sad to change.
There were moments along the way when it was very difficult and times when Kane wondered if he would be able to finish. Lots of times of questioning, then pushing forward towards the goal. It has been hard work for 5 years. There have been challenges we've faced that as I think back on them I really wonder how we've done it for this long (and stayed sane--ha!) We've lived with only one car for the entire time we've lived here. We've done apartment living close enough to campus so Kane could walk (and to help save money and time on commuting). We moved from a one bedroom to a two bedroom apartment when Mara Kate was 18 months old, which means for the first 18 months of her life we all shared one bedroom (how did we do this?!). When we made the move to the larger apartment Kane's distance to walk to school almost doubled, yet he has endured it for 2 years so that we could have the benefit of a bigger place. (Thanks, Babe--that alone has meant the world to me).
Our child has never had her own yard to play in. We've toted our groceries and everything else up or down two flights of stairs every day and we've shared our "garage" with everyone else in the complex---it's a large parking garage. All of those not so fun things are about to change and I almost can't believe it. We are moving into a cute, 3 bedroom, 2 bath house with a yard and carport. Although the house seems like a glorified apartment as far as size is concerned, the fact that we are gaining an extra bedroom, a fairly large yard for Mara Kate to play in and a carport, not to mention the fact that we won't be living literally attached to other people is enough to make me happy. Oh, and it's cheaper rent than what we are paying now! It's exactly what we need and a little step up from what we've had, to boot. Thank you God for your provision for us in the housing department. I am very thankful.
Our life here has settled into a routine that I think when things are easier overall, I will feel like it's Christmas every morning. When I can walk out to my car that is parked directly outside my kitchen door, I will be giddy for months I think. ha! I am so thankful we are almost to the end of this time when I think about those kinds of convenience things.
But, when I think about our church and the relationships and the friendships that we've made it makes it much harder to think about moving away. I will definitely miss the comfort our church home has been to us. And the dear friendships that we've made. The friendships God had a big part in blossoming. I am very thankful that God has ordained that this move will only take us a little over an hour from Atlanta, so I feel like this move will be easier on me emotionally. I don't think I'll feel as isolated this time around. I feel like I'll be able to stay in touch with the friends here while I am meeting new ones in Rome. I'll be able to make day trips to Atlanta to see people on occasion or to meet up with my girlfriends for supper, etc.
Also, I feel like it isn't too far for people to come visit us in Rome....and everyone is welcome to come anytime! Rome is actually a very neat small town.
So, we are almost at the end of this season. The past two months have literally felt like H-E-L-L at times, but we are almost finished. It seems like a dream in a way, because we've dreamed of getting to this point so many times!
I am very proud of Kane and his hard work. I am looking forward to attending his defense on Thursday along with his dad who is driving in as well. I am excited about the celebration supper his advisor has planned for him that evening. I'm thrilled about our 5th wedding anniversary and celebrating it with Dr. Barker. (Our anniversary happens to be the day after his defense). :)
I love you very much Kane and am very proud to have stood by your side through this entire journey and I look forward to walking with you into the new chapter that awaits us just over the north Georgia hills.
I know that exercising is good for a person. I like the idea of being active and taking care of my body. I know all of that in my head and I believe it. But, it is harder for me to fit it into my daily (or even weekly) life. It is just too easy to push that task to the bottom of the list and not make it happen at all.
There are plenty of reasons for not exercising---Not having time to take yet another shower after getting sweaty. What do I do with my 2 year old while I am working out? I'm a busy mom and can't fit another regularly scheduled activity into my schedule. I can't afford a membership at the gym or I'm just too tired. These all hold some truth and are somewhat valid points, but they can also be called excuses!
We all go through seasons where we are motivated to do something and then less motivated. It is easier to start a new good habit than it is to stick with it day in and day out. I know this this to be very true in my own life.
But, I've decided to try again. That's a start, right?! To be more conscious of the need to get movin' on a regular basis. And, I actually can't use any of the excuses above because the apartment complex we live in has a free fitness center which includes a playroom where kiddos can play while parents work out. I have the blessing of being a stay at home mom and I really can and should use some of my time to be more active. We all make time to do those things we want to do. I know it won't always be easy or convenient, but I'm starting afresh with a new goal and trying to get down to the fitness center for 30 minutes, 3 times a week. Doable right?
I don't have to drive anywhere, worry about parking or traffic. I simply have to walk down the hall, down some stairs and I'm there. It's crazy I haven't been doing this since the day we moved in.
So, the reason I'm posting about this is so I know that you know that I want to do this. I'm thinking of it as a sort of accountability for myself. So, feel free to ask me later, "How's it going?".
And, a little question--what do you do for regular exercise? How do you make yourself stick with it? Any thoughts on how to keep with a newly started good habit? I would love any suggestions for making this a successful part of my normal routine and not something I do only on occasion.
Children and Sleep generally don't mix. Mara Kate didn't sleep through the night until she was at least a year old. I love sleep and losing sleep when I became a parent was probably the biggest hurdle I encountered. Maybe that is because when you don't get enough sleep everything else seems harder and more difficult.
I not only love sleep, I need sleep--and lots of it to feel good and normal. I am not like my husband who can get up early no matter what time he went to bed and just press through the day and actually think about important things, function normally and contribute. I am not like my younger sister who can stay up until the wee hours of the morning reading or baking or whatever, then get up early the next day and be in a good mood! Not me. I need more sleep than most people and when I don't get it I don't do very well. I am aware that I get really grumpy and tend to think only about when I can lay my head back on my pillow again.
When you are a mom, going back to sleep isn't an option so I've had to learn to just deal with it as much as possible (which probably isn't very much at all). Thankfully I have a husband who is extremely gracious and kind and cares for me in the area of sleep. I'm thankful he understands that, for me ample sleep is truly more of a need than just a want. He is a morning person by nature (ask his parents who had to get up with him at 5am every day as a child) and gets up at least 2 hours before having to go to work because he enjoys his early morning routine. When Mara Kate wakes up in the mornings he gets her up, changes her diaper and feeds her breakfast. He lets me sleep in every day until a few minutes before he has to go to work. Isn't that wonderful?! Yes, it truly is and I know I am very blessed because of this and I appreciate his efforts greatly!
On Thursday mornings Kane leaves for work an hour earlier than usual to go to his guy's Bible Study...so, if Mara Kate is awake when he leaves (and she usually is---she is a morning person too, just like her Daddy) then I don't get to sleep as late. Today is Thursday and I got up earlier than I'd like. And, even though I was grumpy the first few minutes after I woke up, I left my head on the pillow and with a little girl squirming beside me, I reminded myself that this precious little girl is much more important than an extra hour of sleep. Even though in that moment it doesn't feel like it when you are still half asleep and oh, so tired and haven't had a drop of caffeine yet. I told myself that I should gladly get up so Kane can get to his Bible Study--I mean, there isn't anywhere else I'd rather have my husband go early in the morning. So, after a few more minutes of laying there, half awake and half asleep I get up. I get my coffee and start my day. I am a little tired and I definitely plan on retiring early tonight, but until then I will strive to be in a good mood and remember, there are things that are much more important than sleep! And, I am so blessed to have those very important things in my life!
To my dear sweet husband: Kane, I reserve the right to be grumpy again next week when I wake up, but just know once I get my coffee and I take time to thank God for my wonderful husband and my precious little girl I'll be just fine! Love you!!
I got a haircut this week and I love the way it turned out! I went to a new (to me) salon and stylist that I found through city search and I'm so happy I did!
A friend from out of town requested that I post a picture of my new do, so here ya go.
Here's the new do and a better picture of the shirt I recently altered.
Closeup
Side view
What do you think? 
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