Ponderings

We are getting closer and closer to Evelyn's arrival and in some ways it still doesn't seem real that she'll be here soon.

Maybe it hasn't hit me yet because when you wait 9 months for something to happen, by the time it finally arrives it kind of takes you by surprise. I know our life is about to change forever, by welcoming another member into our family.

I've been thinking about the dynamic of our family and how it has been around here for the past 4 and 1/2 years with just Kane, Mara Kate and I and how in just a few short weeks it'll be changing forever and will never go back to the way it was.

I'm very excited, a little anxious/nervous and also a little concerned about the adjustment it will be for us all. I am ready to see how Mara Kate does with another child in the house. A sibling. I know the concept is completely foreign to her and that she is old enough to really remember this change as it happens. We have had babies come visit. She loves it when her younger cousins come visit for a few days, but then they always go home and it always has gone back to being just the three of us. I wonder how long it will take for her to really "get" the fact that this baby is just as much a part of our family as she is and isn't leaving. Maybe it won't be hard at all and I hope the adjustment is easy and wonderful---but still--I wonder how she'll take it all in. I want to help her adjust, but at the same time, I know some of it will just happen--by just living life.

I'm starting to remember the sleepless nights and all the little needs that come with having a new baby in your home. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself to go back to those days of having a newborn after so long of not having to think about it. I haven't had to worry about naps, nursing, diapers, etc. for quite awhile. We pretty much have a routine down with Mara Kate. And the routine we have is very easy & mostly predictable. We know at bedtime that she will go to bed easily and sleep for close to 11 hours (unless she is sick or something unusual is going on). We have gotten into a groove and I know we are getting ready to be bumped out of it and I'm trying to brace myself for the ride that's coming!

I have thought since Mara Kate has been able to communicate how nice it is when something is wrong, she can just tell us what it is...where she hurts, etc. With a baby it's always a guessing game---why are they crying, what is wrong? This is something I'm also trying to prepare myself for.

I have had several people tell me that having #2 isn't as overwhelming emotionally because (even though it's been a while) I have done this all before! I'm hoping that is all comes back to me, like riding a bike, but I guess there is a little part of me that knows that right now I'm in the calm before the storm. :)

I really am looking forward to meeting this baby and can't wait to just see what she looks like. When I picture her, all I can see is Mara Kate's newborn face. I don't have any other point of reference and it'll be so interesting to see if there are similarities or not in my girls. When I think about labor and delivery all I can think about is how it was with Mara Kate. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that I'll have different memories surrounding Evelyn's arrival and will need to try to keep them straight in my mind (and write them in the baby book so I don't forget).

I've also had people tell me that before #2 arrives it's sometimes hard to imagine loving another child the way you love the one you already have, but that your heart grows instantaneously once the second one arrives. I'm so looking forward to falling in love with Evelyn in that way once she is in our arms.

I am officially considered "full-term" now that I've reached 37 weeks. It feels good to get to the point of knowing that if she came today, although she'd still be early, she wouldn't be considered a premature. That's a comforting place to be.

I have an ultra-sound scheduled for tomorrow so they can confirm if she is head-down the way she is supposed to be. It'll be good to have that knowledge as we continue to wait and prepare for her arrival.